Nanki, Week 10 - Power is Invisible
Power is something that, though it seems so simple, can be considered something almost invisible yet undeniably present. Power dynamics are like an infectious disease, contaminating everywhere, within our workplaces, our schools, our communities, and even within our homes.
This is the story of my grandmother, an impoverished Brown woman discarded by her family and left to fend for herself in an unknown place, with an unknown family. This is a story of rising despite being powerless.
She was just 11 years old when she fell ill, and was forced to drop out of school.
“She’ll be suitable,” her older brothers said, “for housework.”
And so, she spent her childhood cooking, cleaning, and doing laundry, all things that any pre-teenage girl should be doing, right?
Years went by and with her older sisters being married off, her older brothers eventually decided that it, too, was time to get rid of the biggest problem on their hands: their uneducated baby sister.
Any protest was responded to with, “We’ve taken care of you this long, we know what’s best for you.”
And so, off she went, just 18 years old, into a home with a stranger she was to serve for the rest of her life. She worked tirelessly to cook, clean, and take care of a whole family, extended relatives included, that she didn’t even belong to. She had 6 kids, had to give one of them away to her sister, and suffered the taunts and insults that her in-laws hurled at her for several years into her marriage.
You must be wondering at this point, how could my Dadima ever have had power? She didn’t have any control over what was going on in her life. And that’s precisely my point. She didn’t. There was an insane power imbalance between herself and her brothers, herself and her in-laws, and herself and her life in total.
Even when her husband died and left her with five kids, it was the love of her kids that pushed her forward.
She took up a job at the Forest Range Institute, defended herself, and raised her children single-handedly.
Isn’t that power in itself?
A photo of my Dadima, taken by myself in 2021
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ReplyDeleteHi Nanki! I love how you dedicated your blog to your Dadima! In my view, power is something that needs to be developed. Its not given automatically, but it is something that should be earned. From your blog, your Dadima had gain power and control over, from her job at Forest Range Institute to defending herself. I actually feel inspired by your Dadima because of her upbringing. I also think that being inspired by another is another way of power. Even though she had barely any control with her life and choices, she was able to continue on by starting to control her own life. This is also coming from my other perspective towards power, that being influence. I feel that because of her upbringing, she had influenced her children and even you to be able to take control and gain power for yourselves, from my view. She is truly someone to admire because of it! IThank you for sharing your blog!
ReplyDeleteHello Nanki. First of all I want to praise the picture of your Dadima. The picture encapsulates a type of kindness and loveliness about her. I love how you talked about power, where one can easily go from having no control over her life, to taking on the responsibility of her five children. Many people only take action only when they know that others will also be affected, regarding other people as more important than themselves. Perhaps in your Dadima's case, her children were her motivations for living a better life, away from her abusive family. It is fascinating to know what one’s parents or grandparents has done to get they are. If it were not for your Dadima’s desire to escape that life, your parents and uncles and aunts would have lived completely different lives, which then would affect you. Using a similar anecdote, if it were not for my grandparent’s drive to move to America for their children, my parents would have not met, therefore I probably would have never existed. Throughout your blogs, it contained the theme of how fluid power is and how the powerless can turn into an influential individual. Next time, if you decide to tell the stories of your family members, including quotes about how these events affected them and their emotions while it was happening will have your readers empathize with the person more effectively. Thank you for writing, it was a lovely read.
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