Galilea Suarez Week 11: Proudest Accomplishment
I hate the idea of being codependent or needing to rely on people. This resulted in the desire to move away from my parents as fast as possible, not expect certain things from others, and not immediately go to someone if a bad thing happened to me. Something about needing someone to feel happy, or feel secure in yourself makes me feel powerless. I like the idea that you don’t need anyone and that everyone is just an enhancer of the quality of your life, but even without them you can still be content and full.
Who are you without the company of others? Who are you when your best friend is not around you? Who are you? Are you happy when you’re by yourself? I know I am. When I am alone I make the most idiotic and obscene jokes that make me cackle.
I could be doing the mundane task of folding the laundry and my self-dialog will go like this:
“There are so many clothes to fold. When did I even have the chance to wear all of this?” I ask in astonishment as I look up at the mountain of my previously dirty clothes.
I begin to pick apart the stack by folding articles of clothing at a time.
“HUH! When did I even wear this? I genuinely have no recollection of wearing this shirt. What? I am so confused. Is this even mine?” I think to myself as my exaggeration of this event makes me smile.
I ignore that mishap and continue my chore, never solving the mystery of the reappearing white tank top that came from an unknown land.
As a high school student, I don’t possess much power. I can not drive anywhere yet. I do not work, so I can not buy things without the funding from my parents. Nor can I go out without asking for permission. However, I still think I have more power than most. I strive to be independent financially and emotionally. I am most proud of the power I have over myself.
This recent development in my life has been my proudest accomplishment since I had an anxious attachment to my parents as a child. I would never leave their side, I would constantly cry when they left me even if it was just a moment, and I never felt completed until they would come back home from work. In other words, I was a whiny and clingy child.
This anecdote of mine shows that power is innate. One can go from powerless to feeling powerful if they put in that effort. Power is fluid in that sense. It can feel like it is leaving you and flowing away until you decide to take control of it. With that confident self-concept, others will also believe in that quality of yours. If you feel confident and strong sense of identity, power will come easily.
Hi Galilea! To be honest, I never thought about self fulfillment until a few months ago when I lost someone that I loved dearly. After loosing that person, it made me realize that it is unhealthy to depend on any one person to the extent that your own emotions depend on that person's actions. I have recently learned ways in which I can have my own power, whether it be having a car and license or saving money from my job. The dependency on others, financially, emotionally, or even physically, similar to you makes me feel powerless. I have made an active effort over the last few months to spend time with myself and doing things I truly enjoy for my own fulfillment. In that sense, I feel like power is often relative. One might feel powerful within their own means while also being absolutely powerless in other senses; as a society, conflict often arises from this discrepancy and the question of who truly holds power. I really enjoyed the way you organized and presented your thoughts in this blog, it made me reflect on my own experiences. Thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteHi Galilea, you bring up some really important points about self confidence and self-esteem. And to be honest, I needed to hear this. I hate to admit it, but I have been a co-dependent person for a lot of my life and I never considered myself to be able to happy without the company of others. And this was a good wake up call for me. But you're right about how we should have the power to control our own emotions. Lately I recognized how dependent upon others I was when I realized that I would not be staying at American for my senior year. I had to let go of a lot of the extracurriculars I was in, and when I noticed that no on in particular really seemed to grieve the fact that I would be leaving from these extracurriculars. It almost made me feel like I wasn't needed - but you make such an important point about power being innate. Because if you are content with yourself, then you hold the power not only against other people who want to bring you down, but also the power of being content with oneself is strong in itself. Insecurities can be very deprecating but if you're able to overcome then then you wield a strength, a power. You've made me realize that I don't need to be afraid to be alone and as long as I know my own worth then I should be okay. I love the way you presented this message in an enticing anecdote and then transitioned into a larger message. Additionally, the language you used was very assertive and direct, which made me feel like I was being guided in a sense. Overall, great job on this blog, Gal! This was definitely one of my favorite blogs that you have written!
ReplyDeleteReading your blogs never fails to surprise me. I like how you often write about relatable ideas that teenagers feel rather than tangible topics. It may sound superficial, but I’ve also dealt with the dilemma of feeling powerless. I, for some reason, felt the need to chase independence wherever I went. This resulted in me distancing from my parents who wanted to give me the independence I sought. I later got my permit on the day I was eligible to, and got my license at the first appointment I could find. I got a job to fund my expenses and saw myself in a world of my own. While I have experienced this on my own, it’s nice to see someone else talk about it. I like the anecdote you talk about, where you make jokes by yourself and enjoy your own company. I resonate with your concept of having fun by yourself. I often catch myself studying or doing many things alone on the weekend, which I have found to be fun over time. Learning to accept myself is a big part of my identity, and your blog helped me see that.
ReplyDeleteHello Galilea Suarez! I love your blog. I feel like every week, I can almost feel the bundle of joy from these cute little tidbits of your life. You have such an adorable style that feels so homely and warm just like you are. As for the content of your writing, the little laundry story was such a nice and relatable way to express your point and I could seriously envision you just folding laundry and laughing at yourself. I also used to think that I wasn’t reliant on people in that I wouldn’t mind going far, far away for college and just exploring the world. Although, it sounds like quite an adventure, as I have gotten a little bit older my determination to go far has diminished quite a bit. While I have confidence in myself to do well on my own, there is something so comforting about having my family not too far away so that I can always go back to them just in case something bad happens. And I also agree with you that it is good to enjoy your own company. Though I feel like I am cheating because I always have my cat with me even when I am home alone, I think it is so peaceful to just be alone with your thoughts and keep yourself company. I, too, find myself occasionally talking to myself and telling jokes and in general, I have noticed that I am much more productive when I am alone. It is a nice feeling to be comfortable with yourself and I think that power is really worthwhile.
ReplyDeleteGalilea, your blog was, once again, a very entertaining read. Your way of writing makes me wanting to read more. In your blog, you talk about the want to be independent. I also thought this with not just my parents, but also my friends. I moved to American this year and I instantly realized how different my life was without my friends. I had nobody to talk to at first. I had nobody to share my class experiences with and laugh. I took it for granted. I fear I may do the same with my parents as my sister has already set an example for me. When she would go off to college, she missed homemade meals that my mom cooked up. I'm scared of glorifying college and taking my parents and what they do for me for granted. Being independent does not necessarily mean you have power just as being dependent does not mean you are powerless. Overall, your blog made me think quite a lot about my own life.
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